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[Mar. 9th, 2007|11:54 pm] |
so today, was decent i suppose. i ran for 30 minutes and i'm planning on excersizing for at least another half hour. i have had about 700 calorie i guess, and i just feel so fat. i hate it. aghh. anyways. i bought a scale a little while ago, and i still havent weighed myself, i haven't weighed myself since probably september, and i'm so scared of doing it. that sounds ridiculously stupid i know, but i just can't bring myself to see what a fatass i have turned into since recovery. fuck well i guess i need to stop complaining and just make it happen for myself, cause i know i can i just need to stop.
okay so on another note, today i had a conversation with a girl, lets just say im not the hugest fan of her and apparently shes not the hugest fan of me either. but sooo she had a picture on her msn and it said "fuck anorexia, your still ugly on the inside".
soo this conversation arose,
me - anorexia is a disease..
her - no a disease is something that will never go away
me - =anorexia
her - not really
me - yeah its pyschological and even after recovering people with it will still always have the same thoughts in their minds to some extent
her - kay i didnt put that picture up so you could sit here and lecture me on what anorexia is and isnt. its just a picture. okay?
me - holy i wasnt giving you a lecture but if you had anorexia you probably would be offended by that picture thats all im saying
her - thats nice.
her - that must be why you are so defensive
her - if you dont like my pictures then dont look at them
her - its just a picture. end or story.
her - fine dont respond.
her - im going to bed.
ugh this made me so mad and offended me so much and like wow, what a fucking bitch. i hate people sometimes, i just wish i could be alone in the world sometimes(not literally just ughh. annnyways hopefully tomorrow is a better day.
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| fasting vs. 2468 |
[May. 9th, 2006|10:38 pm] |
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okay girls, i guess im not going to do the fasting thing anymore, i think i will instead do the 2-4-6-8. it seems better, the fasting supposedly slows your metabolism drastically, im not really looking forward to that to be honest haha. well still though girls who were gonna join me on the fasting would you care to join me on the new plan? |
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